Giving up.

I think giving up something
I like so much
like rather a dream, a goal
or a pet or a person,
is possibly the hardest thing
I'll ever have to go through
and i dont think i'll be getting used to it
anytime in the near future.

Im pretty ambitious
and to give up something
i really want,
is just something so hard
to completely forget about it.

I have the easier route.
I always do.

But im mentally challenged in that sense
that i want something much more better
and sometimes we just need to really
take a step back to reality
and coming to terms that some things in life we want
can just never be ours,
even though how well its been going for us.

I guess im already traumatised.

I pull back everytime i see a flaw
and I get scared of giving commitments
that will eventually hurt me.

Maybe i should take the weekend
to seriously relax
like go for a spa and get my nails done.

Yeah.
I think i really deserve that.