Monday Inspiration.

Source: Vogue Italia.


What a wet, cold Monday
and it's December, the jolly season!

"Almost" feels like winter. HAHA!

As it seems my new love for baking and cooking,
ive started planning out some really cute gifts
to people who mean a lot to me and has especially
helped me out throughout the year of 2013.

But it will have to all be put on hold first for now
until I return from my trip to Hong Kong in mid Dec.

Busy month December
and soon it'll be 2014!

So exciting! xo.

So it isnt just the one problem.

Update: So yesterday after speaking to a close friend,
i should understand that people DO change
and it shouldnt be something
for me to dwell upon and be upset with,
even if its the closest friends or even family.

So im going to just take it easy,
one at the time.

After all it is MY wedding after all
and a once in a lifetime event. :)

Thanks to you-know-who
for letting me rant
over latte and green tea. xxx


Okay so yes, its not just the financials
but also just another way that shows us
who really supports us and
those that really means to us.

I honestly cant thank you to those
who has helped us so far on this journey
but it also turned out to be
the most unexpected people
who has broken my heart.

As i struggle to come to terms
with the decisions of people,
i want to try not be selfish
and try to think in others' shoes
although i dont understand why
they couldnt see how important it is
for them to be there on one of the most
important days of my life.

It almost makes me feel like i just
shouldnt do this anymore.

Aih.

Takes your breath away.

It's officially less than
3 months to the wedding
and im stressing out that its
putting me out of sleep.

Im constantly worried about the timing,
the finances (!!!), the invitations,
the registrations, the decos, the dresses etc
that is really causing me to break down
at just any moment of time.

It doesnt help that work has been
majorly stressful with me single-handedly
running the entire operation.

That's why weekends are so important to me.

I still dont get alot of sleep
but I get to spend time with love ones
and especially last weekend,
where i took some time out to pamper myself
with a full body massage and facial.

Also when i managed to catch a glimpse
of this beautiful rainbow in the sky
while out with daddy for some bonding time
and an early fathers day dinner.

It's lil things like this,
that absolutely melts your stress away.

What an amazing view.

A Balance.

What are the odds
of getting a news that upsetted you
and a news to lift your mood immediately back up,
all within the hour.

It comes to show how insignificant
the upsetting news is,
that ive totally forgotten about it
until i wanted to blog about my day.

Im glad ive moved on
and im happy honestly,
but im even more grateful
that i have the best man in the world
who is always there for me
no matter rain or shine.

Cant wait for Thursday to celebrate
our 7th anniversary together. :)

Update: Strange enough, I was told that i knew
about this upsetting news like a while back
but ive totally forgotten about it and thought
it was actually new news haha! So looks like its pretty
insignificant after all. ;)

Keeping it steady.

With the overwhleming events,
both good and bad happening
just in the first quarter of 2013,
its enough to keep me busy
and i cant believe its already mid of April.

Im definitely half way through
my (every-year) new year resolution
to lose weight but im still a hands full
to my ultimate weight goal.

However, ive been happily being able to fit into
all my clothes PRE-UK time (well most of them),
i cant believe how many crop/ short tops
and mini skirts i had 7 years ago!

Just in time for some fashion resurrection? HAHA.

Im definitely closer to my in-laws
and spending more time with family this year,
which keeps me happy and sane on my weekends,
and ive definitely tried to be more healthier this year,
like no canned/ process food and more fruits!

Im also managing at least 3 times a week of yoga
and also a class of Zumba for more cardio fitness.

For other notes,
the wedding is slowly but definitely
coming together nicely.

Of course, there are many (and headache-ones too!)
hiccups along the way
but im taking it stress-free
and i cant wait to get it done and over with!

After the wedding,
i will be able to focus on other things
such as my promise to my religion,
to teach children for 2-4 weeks
and also on my examinations,
which i barely have time for now.

Hopefully, it will continue
to have more improvement in my career
and also soon for me and the boy,
to plan on our honeymoon.

So yes, as my title states
im keeping it steady,
which will be my main motto,
to keep me stress-free with all
the responsibilities and work to do.

For now,
im trying to find time
in between my busy schedule
to have some me-time at the mall (any mall!)
because its nearly time for the
Mid-Year Grand Malaysia Sale!

PS: Just a lil update to my previous post *here*,
ive now lost a total of 8.9kg since 6 January 2013. :)
(But many more to go!)

Where did all the time go?!

While planning my schedule for next week
with client meetings and work stuff,
I suddenly realised that im flying off
to Melbourne next Wednesday.

I was completely freaking out
and out of breath when i called the boy
just to talk and calm myself down.

Im hardly having the time to finish blogging,
let alone doing my studies,
and like the tons and millions of errands
that are just never ending.

I feel like im about to pass out
from my head spinning so fast. T_T

Okay at least i have one thing sorted out...
I have achieved halfway of my weight-loss program.

Ive never blogged about it because
i wanted to wait till ive achieved my goal
or rather until after the wedding (haha),
to mention that ive lost a total of 5.3kg
since ive started during the second week of January.

Unfortunately for me,
im still far away from my goal
and I have about another 6.3kg
to my ideal weight goal.

But im not giving up with the wedding
a mere 6 months away.

(Okay just typing that out is freaking me out. T_T)

Okay first things first:

1) finish all my drafted blog posts,
2) do house chores,
3) mail a package,
4) change money (pls drop AUDMYR!),
5) do my manicure and pedicure,
6) pack for Australia and plan my outfits!
7) visit my designer for my gown and veil
9) study
10) call my client for next week's appt,
11) renew driving license for mum-in-law
12) borrow or hunt for a huge suitcase
13) find time in between all those for me-time and gym/yoga.


Jesus. -_-

Changing Life Courses.

Somehow, things arent exactly
how i want them to be from Day 1 of 2013.

And ive suffered so much heartbreak
in this past 2-3 weeks alone,
that its enough to put an elephant down.

It's eating me slowly
and i wake up fresh every morning
only to be reminded by my failures
to get upset all over again.

So as much as i hate quitting,
after receiving that midnight email,
ive decided thats it for me.

And focusing on something else
thats more related to me,
instead of trying to finish
something i can never have the ability
to achieve after so many years.

If this doesnt work out,
then i will need another reshuffle.

For now,
im focusing on the upcoming
new exam in May,
which ive never sat before
and also my father-in-law who just
had a surgery yesterday evening
and currently in recovery.

No point crying over split milk, right?

Keeping things under control.

I hate to admit it
but everytime i think
i have more than enough
to live comfortably, i just cant.

Im struggling to live
pay cheque by pay cheque
and its killing me that ive to save
so much for one wedding,
with absolutely no financial help
from our parents.

Thinking about it really makes me wanna cry
but im trying to stay positive at least
until my exam ends.

Ive really gotta pull everything together.

Cancer month - October

Okay i know its actually more dedicated
to breast cancer in the month of October
but ive lost my best friend
to blood cancer 6 years ago
and i just found out another girlfriend
who would be getting married in March,
was diagnosed with Stage 3 thyroid cancer.

It still hurts me
talking about *Ros*
even though its been more than
half a decade ive lost her to cancer,
and its even more upsetting
to learn that a childhood friend of mine
that is having her wedding ceremony soon,
is diagnosed with cancer too.

She's helped me so much
and recommended so many things
for my own wedding,
to help me through
with all the preparations.

In fact it was just a week
before she was diagnosed,
that we were having hi-tea
at my parents' place when she dropped by
to exchange ideas with me.

Its breaks my heart
to know what a nightmare
she must be going through right now
and it kills me everytime i feel like
texting her to wish her well.

At this point im just thankful
that im blessed with a healthy life
despite all the obstacles ive been going thru.

Aih.
Better start living your lives
to your fullest, people
cause damn, life is fcking short.


-------------------------------


Love is all around.





I think there are a couple
of versions with this song
but this is exactly how i remembered it
by 'Wet Wet Wet'. :)

One of the rock-est, romantic song ever.

No Water.

This is prolly the 10,000,000,000th time
that my floor has stopped its water flow,
to fix a leaking pipe that apparently burst
on the roof top.

So yeah naturally,
the pent house level
would be affected. -_-

So without much options left,
we had to share the public bathroom/shower
on the swimming pool floor
with all our other neighbours. T_T






Yup.
This was where I showered
for the last 2 days.

And yes it was already embarrassing enough
that i had to shower in my bikini by the pool,
the pool floor (which was also the gym floor)
was always full of people during the evening. T_T

Feels like bootcamp where you shower in public,
except it isnt in the woods.





This is me in my pink, fluffy bathrobes
and my super shy face. haha

Yes. I wore it all the way down
to the pool with kids from my building
were staring at me in the lift.

Cant wait for the damn water to come back,
and my water bill better be free this month man.

Sigh. T_T

A week of absence.

Okay so its been a week.

Theres just so much
that ive been wanting to say
but ive got all mixed feelings inside
to reveal most of the things
thats been bubbling inside of me
as not forgetting this is still
a very much public blog.

First of all,
its now less than a year to the wedding
and im so beyond panicking with
all the things that ive been putting
on hold for 2 years. -_-

I had a great recommendation
and help over the long weekend
but im still worried over the fact
that i now have less than a year
to prepare a HUGE party. -_-

Plus my plans to return to the gym,
is so undisciplined. -_-

Im keeping whatever energy i have left
to keep me lasting throughout 2012.

I think at the moment,
having everything in my life
to be on track and on schedule
is the most important.

First thing to cross off my list,
is that damn level 1 paper. haha

What has my life become?

There were alot of things that ive done
as a youngster that I regret
immensely now that im older,
but somehow while going thru old blog posts,
I seemed to be so much happier back then.

What happened to that cheery,
bubbly, social butterfly
that i used to be?

I cant believe how much ive changed
and even my travelling had been cut back
so much since ive moved back home.

What's happening to me?

What happened to the girl
who could go clubbing, get drunk,
sleep for 3 hours then go for classes
at 8am till 630pm?

I dont know if the time-of-the-month thing
that is talking but i really miss
the old me. :(

72 hours of hibernation.

Its official.

It just hit a record breaking
72 hours of me hiding out
in my parents' place hibernating
as im down with a serious flu and cough.

I have not left the house
nor changed out of my
home clothes or nighties
for 3 straight days.
(I showered lah haha)

Ive been cooped up
watching shows and studying occasionally
and reorganising my life basically
from restructuring my goals
to planning the finances on the wedding.

The monthly PMS that hit me
2 days ago really didnt help the fact
that i just didnt feel like going out anyway
and i just loved that mum was always around
to make sure there are food always on the table.

I feel so spoiled
and it may only be 30 mins
away from my place
but it seems like such a wonderful
and well deserving holiday
that i havent had for months.

And of course im gathering strength
and confidence to continue on my road
to achieving my life goals,
even if it seems so out of reach at the moment.

It's a 50% chance if i tried isnt?

Time to get my life on track
but first, I need to concentrate on recovery!

Some pampering when you're sick.

Somehow dad talked me out
into cancelling all my plans
to stay home to rest.

Im glad he did
because its so nice for once
to kick back and sleep in almost all day
with mum's home cooking
and daddy who brought home some
of the best soy custard in Subang.

Nothing beats pampering by your parents
especially when you're sick,
makes you feel like a little girl again.







The best part is having to relax
and watch the cooking channels
almost all afternoon
and getting inspirations.

Okay. I need to start on my studies. -_-

Life changing.

I would say the past week
had been fairly difficult on me.

I have been feeling slight feverish
for a couple of days
and on top of that,
some really difficult challenges
in my job had really put me to a test
of patience.

I would say I was close to
breaking down and cry,
as I hate feeling like a failure.

I know i'll bounce back eventually soon
but it seems like all the hard work
ive been putting in had been wiped out
and its for me to start all over again.

Also might I add,
having to do part time studying
is really taking a toll on me
and im feeling the stress, pressure
and the one thing i crave most now, sleep.

So ive decided
to take this weekend
a little slower and relax
as I havent had a proper weekend
to actually just kick back and do nothing.

Also after a super busy 2 weeks,
i finally found time today
to go back to the gym.

It feels so good to be back on the treadmill
although it might take me a while again
to get my stamina back.

On another note,
its back to the annual tradition that my family do
for the 7th Chinese month aka Ghost month,
to go on vegetarian the entire month,
which starts on the 17th.

I must say that i am rather excited
this time round.

I mean after all ive been doing
49 days of vegetarian TWICE
in the past year for both my
grandfather and *grandmother*,
that passed away 6 months apart.

So an easy 30 days is prolly nothing
to me now isnt? hehe ;p

Eager.

I had been so eager
to look forward to the first
Saturday with no class or work
after 6 weeks of non-stop
classes and work
that I couldnt sleep till it was 2:30am
and woke up at 8:30am. -_-

So much for trying to sleep in. Geez.

Was having a slight fever last night
and had to go thru some minor
disappointment to find out
that you really just cant change
everything to make things perfect.

I tend to be a perfectionist sometimes
which is obviously bad for me
to be so naive about this world.

So sometimes all you need to do
is suck it all in
and just take it with a blow.

Even if it hurts deep down inside.


----------------------------------------------

The Deleted Scene!


So following *this*,
the Glee director has decided
to release the deleted
Christmas scene of KLAINE!




God.
Melts your heart isnt?


---------------------------------------------


Wedding Fever.













Inspirations on a
late Friday evening.

If only ive got a body
of a model to pull off
all those gorgeous looks.

Well, ehem...
and money of course. haha

Preparations.

The thing about having to postpone
your wedding for so long,
is having to suffer
a rollercoaster ride of feelings.

It's still a lil more than a year
to our set wedding date
but ive got most of the things
already done and sorted.

The boy wants to start on
the save-the-date invitations already
and i really cant wait what
my darling designer has in store. :)

On another note,
i would like to congratulate
my darling friend, Jean
who is now about 14 weeks pregnant. :)

Was chatting to her
on how she found out
that she was pregnant and stuff
and i just couldnt help feeling
so overwhelmed for her. :)

Also ive been meaning to blog
on some July birthdays
but never came around to
and its already August. -_-

Will blog a picture post soon!


-------------------------------------


Happy belated birthday, July babies!


Baby sister's 24th birthday






Had a small celebration
with the boy, me and mum
just to sing a birthday song
for my baby sister.

We did however had another
celebration for her and my cousin
(who has her birthday 6 days apart!)
at Allo Paris a week after!

Will blog about that soon. heh.



Julia's 27th birthday





God. She's so cute haha

Had a mini belated celebration
over dinner in Delicious
along with C, D and SingFoong
for Julia's 27th birthday. :)

She was soooooo shy
but we got her a brownie
with a candle and sang
as loud as we could anyway,
just to embarrass her. haha

Love you loads babe xxx

Finding the time.

Ive been finding it difficult lately
trying to juggle the things in my life.

Im trying to do some exercise
at the gym as often as possible
but with my full time job,
part time studies and house chores,
ive been seriously neglecting it. -_-

Ive no time that i have no choice
but to eat instant noodles most of the time
to save time to cook when im starving
but have no time to run out to buy food.

Totally defeats the purpose
of going healthy. T_T

It's crazy tiring
and so unfulfilling. -_-

Plus having the need to balance
time with friends, family
and finding my own me-time,
is really making me dread
for more holidays. -_-

Will be super busy in July and August
trying to finish up my syllabus for my exams
and it would be grandfather's
*1st death anniversary* this Saturday
so we're all making a daytrip
down to Melacca.

Wow.

I really cant wait
for a proper holiday in December. -_-

The Reality Pain.

It's funny how much reality sinks
into a person with alcohol influence.

I watch a friend cry in pain tonight
as she tells me over and over again
how hurt she's feeling at the moment.

And watching her fall asleep
on the couch makes me feel
how helpless I am at her situation.

It's really an individuals' game.

You gotta learn how to defeat
'The Boss' of the game
all on your own,
whether you took the choice
of taking advices you received or not.

Learning to accept flaws
is another great way
to cure your pain.

I just hope she comes out of it
by herself really soon.

Life is life-long lesson.

Life isnt easy,
but i make the best out of it.

People say im so positive
and cheerful as a person
but its reasons like this
that i need this blog so much
just to keep me sane.

People cant dwell on spilt milk
but they can learn from mistakes
and thats exactly what im going to do.

But most importantly,
im not gonna forget to enjoy myself
because i know my responsibilities
as an adult would soon come.

Away for the weekend.

Im so excited that my hand shakes
as im typing this. -_-

Will blog more when i can. :)