Grandpa.

Ive been sitting here for 15 mins.

Thinking of what's best to describe
my feelings right now.

The thing is i know plenty would think,
'Its your grandfather, how close can you be?'

Yes. I admit we have drifted
ever since he gotten sick,
lost weight and started to stop talking.

We would use sign languages instead
unless he wants his cigarette,
then he calls out for it. -_-

People dont know,
how close my family is
on my mother's side of the family
and to see her brothers cry uncontrollably
while crawling to their father's coffin,
is so heartbreaking that no one can endure.

Its me and my sister's
first death experience in a family...
and right now mum is refusing to talk
much to any of us
so im a lil afraid of how things are
when we get back home to Subang.

Now come to think of it,
luckily i dont live with them anymore
or i cant imagine having the whole house being
so solemn and sad...

For now,
im actually enjoying the late nights shifts
to look after the candles.
(Chinese believes to always have the candles
lit for a path of those that has passed)

It's my only last 5 days with him...