Drowning.

This is gonna be one of those
crazy coding posts that is made on my blog
for me to remember by in the future,
but enough to keep things in the dark
from the public eye.

So i know his drowning,
with only 24 hours in his hands
and i know by saying yes,
i can only learn to live with it
and by all means blend with it.

To make things alright for both him
and myself if circumstances could provide.

But im running out of ideas
and im generally tired.

All i want is time,
his time in fact which i know
he is too busy to give me any.

So i cover things up with exams,
movies, recipes to experiment on,
exercises and of course my blog.

I get so depressed
but i refuse to go out
to mingle and see friends,
which he had been encouraging
but im afraid.

Afraid of becoming my past again.

Afraid that all my efforts
of making this change will go to waste.

So i stay home to cook,
watch movies, read, exercise.

Dont get me wrong,
i love my "me" time
so why ain't i happy?