Forget it.

Feeling so fucked up now.
blardy emo.

was suppose to clean up my room,
but ended up surfing and found an interesting blog
and had been sitting here ever since.

was suppose to call the night in early today
as tomorrow ive got a long day of training and work.
but im still here.
glued to the screen.
which i feel like im practically married to it since i got here.

ive become reserved once more.
don't know if it's because it's almost time to go home.
It's like all my energy to put up being here
are all used up to the limits
and its time to go home to recharge.

when i think about what the distance is doing
to destroy my one true happiness
i honestly feel like stabbing myself with a knife.
for always pretending that im strong enough to go on.
when deep down, im so insecure.
not about you, but about me.

Why can't I just dance & sing along with the smurfs
in their tiny little mushroom homes in the forest?

away from pain. away from stress.

sigh.