Study Break.

Everything I need
on the little coffee table
that i study on everyday.

My financial calculator +
mock papers for practice +
pens + extra papers for workings
+ of course a picture of me
and *Rosline* for motivation.

Yes. You've never left my mind, love.


--------------------------------------


Movie Review: Breaking Dawn Part 2





The long awaited final movie
of the Twilight Saga is finally here
and im so proud to say
that i was one of the few
who caught the premier here in Malaysia.

As expected in the books,
it was exactly the way it was
in the beginning
but with a very unexpected twist.

Yes. The ending was so different
from the book that i was literally
at the edge of my seat,
shouting out "WHAT?!"

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Whatever it is,
i can promise all you fans of the book,
that it wouldnt be upsetting.

It was still a great show
except how creepy it was
(which i thought they could do better)
with copying and pasting
Renesmee's face on all the babies
because she grows fast
and needed them all to look similar.

Other than that,
still no doubt a wonderful show
and a must-see in cinemas.

So go check it out,
in a cinema near you!

***

Some photos taken
at the premier
of Breaking Dawn Part 2.

Cancer month - October

Okay i know its actually more dedicated
to breast cancer in the month of October
but ive lost my best friend
to blood cancer 6 years ago
and i just found out another girlfriend
who would be getting married in March,
was diagnosed with Stage 3 thyroid cancer.

It still hurts me
talking about *Ros*
even though its been more than
half a decade ive lost her to cancer,
and its even more upsetting
to learn that a childhood friend of mine
that is having her wedding ceremony soon,
is diagnosed with cancer too.

She's helped me so much
and recommended so many things
for my own wedding,
to help me through
with all the preparations.

In fact it was just a week
before she was diagnosed,
that we were having hi-tea
at my parents' place when she dropped by
to exchange ideas with me.

Its breaks my heart
to know what a nightmare
she must be going through right now
and it kills me everytime i feel like
texting her to wish her well.

At this point im just thankful
that im blessed with a healthy life
despite all the obstacles ive been going thru.

Aih.
Better start living your lives
to your fullest, people
cause damn, life is fcking short.


-------------------------------


Love is all around.





I think there are a couple
of versions with this song
but this is exactly how i remembered it
by 'Wet Wet Wet'. :)

One of the rock-est, romantic song ever.

What a strange coincidence.

Strangely when I just wrote
about *Ros* yesterday,
a girl came up to me and told me
she was her childhood friend
during my office presentation luncheon today.

She also told me that she knows
how close we were during college...

And i froze.

Somehow some part of me,
wanted to hug this stranger,
because its so difficult to connect
with someone anymore that knows her too.

I cant describe it.

It's a strange coincidence
and also a pleasant surprise.

We didnt talk much
but i shook her hand
and transferred as much gratitude
i could put into that one hand shake.

I felt a flow of relief
knowing that there are people,
who still do think about her out there.

What a beautiful feeling. :)



---------------------------------


SF Day 1 Part 3


Related posts:
*SF: Day 1 Part 2*
*SF: Day 1 Part 1*
*1st night in SF*
*Pre-Frisco*


Yay! Arent you guys proud of me
for being such a good blogger!

Posting everything on time! haha!

Okay part 3!








Alcatraz! O_o







The gorgeous Golden Gate Bridge,
taken by yours truly!

Instagram is the way to go! haha!





Our biggest torture, jetlag T_T

Pretty maidens in a row. haha!






Seals by the pier
just lazying around!

So many of them! haha!





Dinner time!

My short story.

I am suppose to come up
with a short story
on how i first met my future husband
and how i first fell for him.

Which led me to remember
that it was actually you who made me
realise my feelings for him.

6 years on and it still hurts
to write about you
and every memory of you
still seem so clear.

I hated that you werent around
to share my happiness when i first
went to England to study.

I hated that you werent around
to celebrate my 21st birthday.

I hated that i couldnt share my news
with you that i graduated or
got my dream job that i always wanted.

I especially hated
that you arent going to be
at the wedding of the two people
you brought together.

Yeah, so sue me.

Its been 6 years
and i still hate it
that you're gone *forever*.

Now,
how the hell am i going to write
this short story without crying?

The joys and sadness.

*Edit* 9am

Scratch that.

I cant sit around
being selfish.

Its about his mum afterall
and not Ros's anymore.

And as a friend,
I should be there supporting him.

Okay. Im gonna get change and go.

*Edit Ends*


Its been a while
ive wrote out completely
about whats been going on
in my life.

Im here sitting in my hall
at 7am on a holiday
thinking ive to go to work. -_-

Too much going on in my head,
so i decided to come out here
to write a piece of my mind.

Its barely touching February
and i feel that its been so drama
to the new year.

A recent event
reminded of how short
life can be and it gave me
flashbacks of the last *funeral*
ive attended with full of emotions
and so much anger.

It's partially the reason
i just had to decline his offer
to his mum's waking and funeral,
its so much pain going thru things again
and with my *vision* still
not at its complete stage,
i just couldnt risk tearing.

If you have read my blog long enough,
you would know i have 3 unsung heroes
appearing every now and then
on my blog.

They are the people
who inspires me,
the people who motivates me
and the people i love the most,
besides my family of course.

I wont say i would completely understand
what that friend of mine,
would be going thru now
but at least i have an idea
of how upsetting it is
to have someone leave you forever.

He was handling it surprisingly well
when i last saw him
as it was so different to my reaction
when i first got the call about *her* passing.

I dont know if you're reading this,
but i would just like to say
my deepest condolences to you
and your dearest family
and that i'll always be here
if you need someone to talk to, okay? :)

Despite all the sadness lingering,
i love having silver linings
in between dark clouds.

The first thing i could read
on my iphone when i first woke up
after a long nap from my surgery,
was my long-time girlfriend asked me
to be her bridesmaid end of this month!

Crap man.
I just realised its a pattern,
all my girlfriends from Singapore
are getting married
or having children already. -_-

So ive decided
on a 3 week strict diet
to fit into the bridesmaid cheongsam
and damn CNY is in 2 days. T_T

So we'll see in 3 weeks
if that fails or succeeds. haha!

On another random note,
its weird but even after 8 months
im still so in love with my job.

The best decision
ive ever made in my life.




Okay.
Time to rest those eyes. heh.

And in case i dont blog soon again,
Happy CNY people! :)

Hearts.

The boy tried to surprise me
with a tiny bouquet of pink roses,
only to find me sitting in the hall
all alone crying while staring
at the laptop screen.

I had just returned
from an outing with Joanna
and had brought up *Rosline*
during one of our conversations.

Which I later came back home
to read one of my old *post*
i wrote on the day she passed away
and started crying all over again.

Poor boy was so freaked out
that he thought was something he did. HAHAHA





Aih but it really did
cheer me up. :')

After so many years.

I dont understand why i still cry
when i talk about *you*.

Shouldnt it be about time
ive accepted that you're in a happier place?

Why does it still hurt?

You're making me cry.

I cant believe after *4 years*
and you still make me cry.

You've no idea
how much I wish
you were here to celebrate
your birthday with us.

Happy Birthday baby girl.

Loving you x

-----------------------------------------



It's amazing.






How you would still make me smile
after all those years
and make my heart melt.

Even with little surprises like this,
you take my breath away.

I refrain from talking
about you here most of the time
but i cant help it that
you're taking up 3/4 of my life.



---------------------------------------------------


Commercial Break #8


Commercial Breaks:
*#1*
*#2*
*#3*
*#4*
*#5*
*#6*
*#7*







Some random pictures of me first
while waiting for a ride
out to TwentyOne, BSC last week.

Super minimal makeup and
deep purple nails
because i thought 'What the heck!',
im not working
and i wont be able to have
this colour when I start working
in a bank so hence the decision.

Im seriously going suicidal
for this exam.

It's like nothing ive ever felt before
and its making me so damn shitty nervous. :(

It would be a real miracle
if i would pass this.

Aih.
Wish me luck.

Visiting Rosline.

I dont remember
when was the last time
I did so and made the effort
to drove for an hour
all the way down
to Fairy Park in Klang.

Orchids for her
because it lasts longer.

The colourful spinning wheel
was only for my entertainment
which i later hung it outside
my lil balcony of the smurfette pad. heh.







God ive missed her.

I hate the fact that
this is the only picture
i could ever have of her.

Its a feeling i hope
no one my age would have to go thru
and the pain you live with
is a lifetime.

Im a very stubborn person.

It's to the point that
if i want something,
I'll do whatever i can
to get it.

Maybe its because
i know i can never ever have her back
thats why im so hard on myself...?

I stared at her picture,
so many things to say to her
but i just didnt know where to begin
as I tried sticking a stalk of orchid
into her frame.





Thanks MSG.HennWei,
who drove me there
so i wouldnt get lost.

Have I ever mentioned
it was Ros who made me realised
how much I liked him
in the beginning
that brought us together?

Aih.
Now thats a really good story
to remember of her
and I'll save it for next time.





You're always remembered, Rosline 'Suki' Lam Soo Kean.


--------------------------------------


It comes naturally.





Ive always been a fan of Selena Gomez.

She's so damn cute
and we both have super thick hair! haha!

No title cause
i couldnt think of one. -_-

You know.
Everytime i turn around,
i feel like im neglecting someone.

Yes.
Im a *horrible friend*. :(

Im so busy in my lil world
that i forget about the people
around me who matters most.

I was out with a friend last night
who i lost touch with for a while.

I dont think i shall say what the things are
but i know whats it like going thru something like that.

But i admire the person
because its surprisingly weird
the person is taking it rather well
(or maybe because i just got the news -_-)

I would have gone hysterical
if it was my loved one,
just like how unforgiving i was
when i lost *Rosline* in a cancer battle.

Im sitting here
in the middle of the dark
at 630am on a Saturday
because i had a nightmare,
thinking about all these.

Thats it.

Im visiting *her* tomorrow.

The pain.

I was reminded by it
just the other day.

I woke up to a nightmare
that i lost a friend
that passed away from a natural death
while i wasnt in the country.

I was crying so much in the dream.
So much drama and pain.

I woke up
and tried to recollect back
what just happened.

I even went on facebook
to check if that friend was still alright.

But the pain.

God.
I could feel it
like its so freshly burned
and a sting to my heart as I thought of *her*.

I was totally reminded
of the time when I first lost her,
so much pain and acceptance I had to take.

No more laughing in the car,
no more phone calls
and no more hang outs
on the college's mezzanine floor.

I feel like a jerk
that I havent made any time
to go and visit her
and I know theres no excuse
as ive been back home for the last 7 months.

God.
Is it possible to miss someone so bad
that you can no longer ever see or hear from again?

Sometimes i ask myself,
why cant i be given a last chance
to see her again.

Why cant i?
Why must she go?
Why must we accept fate?
Why must we grow up!





I should go away for a while.

Sometimes i feel better
when i do things to take my mind off her
but i do feel bad that if i really do,
she'll think she's forgotten...


-------------------------------------------


Macau


Okay.

Something went seriously wrong
with my photoshop
so you'll notice there would be
some pictures edited
and most of them not. -_- haha!

Well good news is,
all you see up here is in the flesh!

No photoshop edit! hehe

Okay.
Pictures only
as Im too lazy to caption them.

































Thanks Daphne
for showing us such a wonderful time.

It was even better than the *first time*
that I went with my family for Christmas
in late 2007.

Of course also not forgetting,
my baby girl, AlcoK
who had been the most awesome travelling partner
on this amazing trip!

Phew!

That's all folks
for my Hong Kong and Macau trip!

Next, Sandakan pictures. T_T haha!

Better'd get that photoshop fixed man! >_<